Easing back into the Breakfast routine after the arrival of the second Brekmeister Jr was never going to be easy – so the idea of making the first foray at a venue that’s practically by my desk seemed sound. As such, I set the alarm early once again (with some reluctance, I confess), and made my way (with rather more enthusiasm) down to One Under Lime to sample the finest on offer to the denizens of London’s premier insurance market.
It was a slightly peculiar experience from the outset. The first portent was the fact that H. was early, and even arrived before me. This should really have warned me that things were not as they ought to be. We perused the menu, provided on an A3 brown paper sheet – in its favour it had a couple of Sudoku to keep you occupied if, for instance, you are waiting for your co-breakfaster to turn up. Unfortunately it was a little lacking in other respects – such as any elaboration on the contents of the “Full English” and “Half English” options. In the spirit of adventure, H. ordered the Full English without inquiry, and I opted for the One Under Lime special of ‘Keta Caviar, smoked salmon, poached eggs, toasted muffin and hollandaise sauce” at a rather reasonable £10.00.
This is where it began to get particularly strange. “Oh” said the waitress “I’m not sure we have any caviar, I’ll just check”. Sure enough, no caviar. Bit of a flaw for your signature dish.
“We could give you something else instead” she volunteered “maybe some mushroom?”. Well it’s not exactly what I would call suitable recompense for a lack of caviar, but it was better than nothing – and, of course, the Brekmeister can never refuse extra mushroom.
Thus it was that our dishes arrived to a look of moderate puzzlement from each. “No beans!” grumbled H. “An enlightened decision.” I rejoined “But mushroom in the Eggs Benedict …?”
The thing is, I did envisage the mushroom coming as an accompaniment to the dish – not as a subsitute ingredient. Well, never let it be said that I am not game for experimental culinary adventures – dear reader, I tried it. However I can sadly confim that mushroom on smoked salmon does not please the tastebuds. While we’re on that topic, another thing that does not please the tastebuds is very stale muffins. Ideally they should be crunchy on the outside, and the fluffy centre damp with butter.
The Full English proved more palatable, if uninspiring – and I’m still curious how the “half English” would be assembled. Presumably it doesn’t include half an egg. But who knows! All in all, this could readily be renamed “One Under Whelmed” in respect of the breakfast provision. Have a drink instead.